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Tough girl without a care in the world...

breaking a million hearts a day...

Cursing the world that is so difficult to live in...

Convinced...

But I'm sitting with my phone in my lap, waiting for your call...

Waiting to hear that sweet voice that could so easily tear me to pieces...

You melt me.

I'll melt with you.

more

I hate slumber parties. One person does not count as a slumber party.

I'm allergic to grass and ants.

Trees make me itch, but I love them.

I've never been to the beach to watch the sun set with a boy.

I love laughing until I cry and my stomach hurts.

I dream about work... not good dreams.

I have a mini library, and, admittedly, I have only read about a quarter of the books in it.

I'm crying, I want you to call me.

I like shiny things.

I love to cook.

I like doing yoga.

I could never be a true vegetarian. I love chicken and seafood way too much.

My baby sister comes from another family.

I want out of california.

Sometimes, like now, I don't want my life. Make me want it again.

I know you are reading this. I want you to call me when you do. You read everything that I write.

Peanut Butter is amazing.

I hate candy corn. Popcorn is nice though.

I love having my back scratched and my hair brushed. Wow, that sounds dog-like.

My house key has disney princesses on it.

My cat was my best friend.

Lawn gnomes are creepy.

My heart belongs to one. I'm never going to ask for it back.

Dreams scare me. The scary ones don't scare me like the realistic ones.

I'm scared to feel alive.

A little more about me...

I'm addicted to my phone, and use to get a weird separation anxiety when someone would want to use it. Now, I don't care.

I hate feeling like I have to put makeup on to look pretty.

I hate the smell of fabric softener.

When I love, I love from the inner most workings of my soul. I love with everything I have.

I hate when I say something that's really important to me, and I get ignored.

As much as I hate taking compliments, I love feeling like someone cares enough to say something nice to me.

If I pour my heart out, I want you to tell me that you understand so I don't feel stupid.

If I cry in front of you, it means you are important. I don't cry in front of many people.

I love dancing.

I love naps in the summer time, or all the time.

I love old smelling books.

I want to know why God punishes me for trying to be so perfect for one person. Perfect is never good enough I guess. Call me if you think different.

I love stars, but if you show me a constellation, I wouldn't know which one it is.

A heartbeat is a secret to get me to fall asleep.

Maroon 5, don't get me started.

Things to know...

I put up glo-stars on my wall... not only to feel like a kid again, but so I could see the night sky, on even the smoggiest of evenings.

I drive down an unpaved, dirt road at 1 in the morning, just so I can listen to Bayside with my windows down, and smell the Eucalyptus trees penetrating the air around me.

My cat is a pain in my butt, but she is mine, and I love love love her.

I write poetry for me, not for all of those companies, still dying for my work. Admittedly, I was a really weird kid, and proud of my work as a poet. I use to send my poetry away to a publisher in the New England states, and they wanted to publish a few pieces I wrote... that I never saw again.

More of my creativity...I took art classes way back when, and had my work up in galleries, and people actually bought a few of my pieces. Too bad I don't remember what they looked like.

I'm genuinely a nice person. I actually care about how your day went/is going. I care about things that are going on in your life, and helping you out if you need help with something.

I use to hate change, but now, I embrace it.

Music is such a big part of my life. I could have a soundtrack for everyday that I'm alive.

If I fall to the ground, I don't want your help to get back up. I fell, I can bring myself to my feet again.

I like to sit in the grass of my front yard at night, because its so peaceful...until the cops find someone to chase around in Sky Country. P.S....I'm allergic to grass.

I hate big crowds of people, even if I am related to them. So, I am prone to staying myself in big groups.

I think the internet is the greatest invention ever. Everything that I will ever need to know, right at my fingertips. If I wanted to become a nuclear physicist, I could. I have all of the information that I need to make that happen. Too bad I don't have the motivation or will to do so.

I love song lyrics. Well, its more that I love to analyze them. What did they mean by this?

I love working, and being proud of what I did. I hate jobs that are half assed, because its just going to have to get done again.

I like doing things to make other people's lives easier. It sucks, though, when it goes unnoticed, or unappreciated.

Driving is one of my favorite things to do. If I waste an entire tank of gas, busting a mission to God-Knows-Where, so be it. I love not knowing where I am going to end up.

I'm not really afraid of getting lost. I kind of, secretly, like it.

I care deeply about my friends. I don't want them digging these huge holes that they can't get out of on their own. I know that I'm the one going to be there to be the super hero.

I am very independent. I hate asking for help. One thing Momma always told me, "Before you settle down and get married, make sure that you can financially take care of yourself. If something happens, you don't need a guy there to take care of you".

My favorite animal is a dolphin. It lives in the water, the way that I wish I could.

Most girls think fishing is disgusting, I love it. If I could spend the rest of my life on a boat catching fish, you know, I would do it.

My first concert was Ashlee Simpson, with Megan. I will always remember that, because we had so much fun!

I like the color pink. Its simple, and girly. Honestly, though, I won't wear it.

I find things that I'm obsessed with for about a week, then I forget all about it.

I love meeting new people, going new places, doing new things. Keeps my life interesting.

I like card games.

I think in a past life, I was a pirate. (arg) A boy pirate.

As much as I hate being a girl sometimes, I would never give it up.

I treat you the way that I want to be treated. I respect you, as long as you give me the same amount of respect back.

At restaraunts, I clean up my table when I'm done eating. I hate leaving it messy. The waitress knows who was sitting there, and it's just bad form to leave it yucky.

My cousin, Sarah, and I were trouble makers. Stories are not the same as what really happened. Well, we're still trouble makers. (haha)

I don't do drugs, but I love drug books. Ellen Hopkins is one of my favorite authors. Her books are so inventive, and relatable. Maybe its not the drugs themselves, but the teenage angst that goes along with them. 'Go Ask Alice' is one of my favorite books.

I love reading. Getting lost in another world, trapping myself between the pages to find a different life.

I daydream more than anyone I know. I daydream while I am driving, working, reading, listening to music, falling asleep...

I hate money...well, I love money, when I have it...


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i love country music. I dont care what you have to say about it

I have alot of friends. If i'm not talking to you, don't get upset. I'll get back to you.

I like driving... when my car is clean.

I cry for random reasons sometimes. Dont ask me why I'm crying. I'll just cry more.

I miss getting my nails done.

I've only been in real true love, one time. Best feeling in the world. I want it back. I miss him, so much. Maybe, just maybe, he misses me. Maybe if he does, he'll text me after he reads this. or not.

I have a defense mechanism, where if something I can't handle arises.... i'll talk it out in my head, and miraculously, I can deal with it. I don't even have to talk in real life to someone. Its like it never happened.

I expect you to either, know whats wrong, or not talk to me about it.

I'm one of the most sensitive people that you will ever meet. Be careful what you say around me... it will come back and bite you in the ass.

I've been in big trouble before. You'd never guess that I did what I did.

i like watching people pop cysts on youtube.... i'm not the only one, so don't think I'm weird.

I love my family.

When things get awkward, I laugh.

In the car, in the passenger seat, I lean toward the driver. I don't know why. I just do.

I'm partially deaf in my left ear.

I have big dreams.

I get really bad anxiety. Really bad. Sometimes, Disneyland freaks me out.

I love words.

Everyone makes an impact in my life. I remember most people. If you remember me tomorrow, I know I made an impact on you.

I like trying new things... for the most part... some things....ummmm... no

air

The air is heavy all around me.

I can hardly catch my breath.

Do I want to?

Do I want to breathe?

If I breathe that means this is all real.

This is all happening.

If I hold my breath, none of this happened.

My heart has stopped living, because my lungs have turned to autopilot.

I just want to breathe you in, but I can't. I can't breathe.

Light headed, I fall to the floor often.

I feel faint. Toes cramping. Tongue going numb. Head hits the floor.

I faint.

No air. Heavy air. No room to breathe. Not even outside.

I don't want to feel alone.

I don't want to feel unworthy.

I don't want to feel unloved.

I don't want to feel unhappy.

I don't want to feel... anything.

I haven't felt this way in a long time. Not the situation, just this blah-depressed-I-don't-want-to-do-anything feeling.

I feel numb. I don't want to cry anymore.

I feel like I'm going to be angry at the world forever.

I feel angry with God for testing me the way that he does.

I have to feel strong and invincible, otherwise I'm just going to get hurt.

I am skeptical.

I feel like I have to be brave, but I don't want to be.

I'm torn apart. From head to toe.